When Parents Control - 3 Keys to Breaking Free from Parental Control
Posted: Monday, March 23, 2009
by Dr. Jeanne King Ph.D.
Partners in Prevention
A controlling parent can have as much a crippling effect on an adult child as on an intimate partner. And I'm sure you know why.
But help for that adult child is touch and go. There are no shelters for them, yet they have many of the same financial issues as battered women.
If they haven't risen above their controlling parent's domination, they can become entrapped victims for life. They remain dependent and often spend their lives seeking out ways to work out their unfinished business around being controlled.
1) Be mindful of the subtle.
The subtle is as significant as the gross. The subtle manipulations are as revealing as the exaggerated obvious ones. And since they show up on an ongoing basis, one doesn't compartmentalize their devastating effect. They are in your face 24/7 or as long as you expose yourself to the controlling parent.
2) Suspend judgment of yourself (and of them).
Recognize that the parental control is NOT about you. The parental control is about them. Find a way to hold and regard yourself beyond the parental control. And find a way to see and regard your controlling parent beyond their control and beyond their controlling behavior.
3) Find that inner voice that knows your highest good.
When you hear from the inner voice of your utmost longing, you will find your way. You will discover your highest good. Your will become the person you are meant to be, beyond your controlling parent's domination.
If you are an adult child of a controlling parent and you struggle over control issues with your controlling parent, seek to find ways to understand the dynamics of controlling relationships: Domestic Abuse Dynamics: Identifying Abuse. The sooner you do, the easier it will be for you to break free from the debilitating effects of being controlled. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. © 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention www.PreventAbusiveRelarionships.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)absolutely this was and is very helpful thank you so much.
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